Sex in Marriage Review of the Book: “Bringing Sex Home”


Bringing Sex HomeSex in Marriage … a Subject of this Review

The book Bringing Sex Home originally took the title: “Taking it to the Mattresses… Bringing Sex Home.” The expression “take it to the mattresses” is famous for its expressed use in the Godfather, the blockbuster movie that shocked America in the 1970s. That title is no longer the one used, as you can see. The author figured it could send the RIGHT MESSAGE to the wrong people. The right message is: There is a struggle in marriages, including Christian marriages, to enjoy … or even offer sexual pleasure to one another. 

Sex is a struggle for many different people, who associate it with something akin to a “lesser of two evils.” Worse, many people in our “sexually liberated” generation simply do not know how to please a spouse, much less do they understand the NECESSITY to do so. 

Sexual gratification is NOT about pleasure only. It is certainly that…most times. But, it is far more than that. For example, it is a means of cleaning a sewer, the imaginations   and desires of fallen hearts.  Here the author uses “fallen” to mean, our fall from innocence in the Garden of Eden. 

Here we use the phrase to note the STRUGGLE married couples have in bringing sexual pleasure to their marriages consistently throughout the marriage. Why the proliferation of affairs?  Why are men and wives said to be “bored” with each other? Why do Christians repeat the Early Church heresy that sex  is for “having children” primarily…That last word resounds like the toll of a mournful church bell sounding the passing of a friend into the next world, while his friends mourn.
Sex in Marriage … Primary Purpose for Sex

Sex is NOT primarily for “having children”.  Don’t get the author wrong. He knows some will use that to say, “Ah, you see, children are an unneeded burden after all, in our marriage.” If that is the meaning extracted, then they have missed the point.

Sex is a gift given by God for testifying FIRST of the UNION of a man and his wife.  That said, what exactly does it mean? A proper view of children flows from such an understanding. In fact, if that is NOT understood, marriage itself will hit the rocks. The good ship “Marriage” is foundering.  Too many pretend it to be otherwise. But, as a generation tries to “turn back” – fathers attempting to be there for their children, spouses attempting  suddenly to be attractive to the other, Christians “rediscovering” courtship, men attempting to focus on their wives, women trying to understand how to love their husbands (Titus 2:2) – without understanding the purpose of sexual UNION, all other functions of marriage will suffer.

This book is unique in that the sexual revolution and the marital expression and use of sex – each at designed to be at polar ends from each other in society – is approached from what God says – quite distinctly, even embarrassingly – about sexual habits and practices in His Word. Too often, “Christian counselors” run to  psychological theory ABOUT human nature (usually without handling sin, RIGHTEOUSNESS (the emphasis of this book) and judgment – John 16:8), as Christ Jesus told  us to do in the New Testament.

Sex in Marriage is NOT a “Lesser of Two Evils”

The book is designed with the purpose of helping Christians understand the fact that God gave sex as a gift to couples. It is designed as a REAL blessing…It is NOT designed as a “lesser of two evils” nor is it a test of abstinence, some sort of sadistic means of testing the resolve of married couples who tend to treat it ONLY as a means of having children. But then, once the children have arrived, what then? Is sex a designed blessing whether or not children are conceived?  It remains a blessing from the Lord for all married couples. It has many purposes. But, first and foremost it represents the power of the UNION of two people, now become ONE.

What does it mean that two people are ONE?  It certainly does not mean they become some mutant physical aberration. They are united in spirit and soul. The body is not capable of joining the flesh physically (like Siamese twins) to another’s flesh without intense tissue damage.  So, God gave us sexual intercourse as a means of teaching us that two are now one as a union. But, the Union is not a metaphor. God HAS made our spirits such that a real uniting in the souls of the two spouses CAN, and does, occur. Married couples are conscious of the need for fidelity in THIS RELATIONSHIP of all others. Infidelity in this – sexual intercourse – is universally understood as an injustice, and the living of a lie, the breach of a solemn (and holy) Trust. It is also an offense to God. 

Sex in Marriage: Satan in, Sex out

Sexual intercourse is designed to teach fidelity, exhibit kindness, serve the other in love, and display holiness. THEREFORE, it lays the foundation for the family, home and marriage. It is intensely PRIVATE…but a rebellious society increasingly wants it displayed more openly until it loses its character through cheap exposure. Satan, accordingly, continues to abuse its use, driving mankind to think of sex in terms as “dirty”, “cheap”, “filthy” and a mere plaything. Use someone, with their consent, and it’s thought to be OK. Remember the song “…Love the one your with.”  That’s society today. That’s even the view of churches, marriages and neighbors who live with wife swapping, adultery, “desperate housewives”, “needy” men, and broken, dysfunctional  families. The kids suffer in all of this as well.

The purpose of the book is not to explore history, drugs, or even porn (though it will be brought up in several places out of necessity).  The purpose is to explore sexual mores and the human heart. The purpose is to explore sex in its powerful capacity to knit the hearts and lives of married couples, to explore is true blessing and beauty. We are here to study why God made sex and what governs its purpose on earth. We are here to understand HOW God makes sex a blessing to couples. Yes, we must, just out of sheer necessity, “take out the trash” throughout the book. Sexual relations are so encumbered with associations of “filth”, that to think of the subject is to associate filthy, even criminal activities.

That is the way Satan is strategically engineering the subject, according to the Word of the Lord. Sex is equated to a FIRE. Like fires, good can come of  it. Evil can also result. Its association in our minds must always be one that is “guarded”. After all, YOU CAN burn your house down with it. YOU can burn your house down with sexual misguidance as well.

We all know how to strike the match. But this book is an attempt to teach us how important lighting the match really is.

…And more importantly, what to burn. 

-    Wayne C. Sedlak

Kindle version:  See the book, “Bring Sex Home” on Kindle!  That’s the Kindle revolution. Quite a novel way to get good books out to a thirsty public!
Regular downloadable version: Bringing Sex Home by David P. Jesse

(Citations from the Preface to the book, Bringing Sex Home by David P. Jesse)

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