Who Signs a Marriage Contract???


Proper legal counsel can give you the particulars to any contract,
including the signatures needed in our legal system today (for a prenuptial / marriage contract). Many lawyers do not prefer to do this. But, you may persist in finding such counsel. Obviously, you need good legal counsel, as contracts such as this can be breached in the courts, due to their often poorly structured and/or unenforceable character.

In Scripture, the covenant is established by sworn oath (the pledged word of the parties to the marriage). Witnesses can help the contract become enforceable.

In addition, the father who gives his daughter, is a signatory as witness. Scripture mandates his sworn oath concerning a number of issues such as Deuteronomy 22:15 - 17 - This passage is designed to hedge her claim to chastity - which in turn, is both physically/financially protective concerning good health, hygiene, and safety , and spiritually protective as per Scriptural concerns about emotional stability, (in)continence and faithfulness; Numbers 30: 1- 5, is another example. This passage is NOT arbitrary. It is a general provision worded in such as way as to be applied to several circumstances. It is not given to frustrate the right and desire of a legitimate Christian marriage union. Quite the contrary. It is designed to protect Christian marriage. [That cannot be fully "flushed out" here. See Marriage Plague for more thorough treatment of these kinds of issues.]

When applied to marriage, Numbers 30 is designed to uphold and protect 1) Leviticus 18 - laws of consanguinity and affinity; 2) protect the daughter in particular against abuse; 3) protect against marriage with unbelieving (non-Christian) partners.  4) Scripturally, his oversight is also designed to enjoin inheritance and dowry provisions. 5) Also, the father testifies to the integrity of his daughter’s faith and faithfulness. 6) If chastity is already a lost issue, the father testifies that the spouse knows all such as the father knows, so that there are no secrets going into the marital relationship. 7) If the father refuses to be a witness (will not give his blessing - his oath of agreement), that fact should take the issue to the Church court. [Too much to flush out here or now. Read Marriage Plague for more on these issues.]

Other family members, and the elders of a church with the presiding minister, can also be witnesses to the contract. That means the presiding Church court members have examined the marital couple’s claims to be wed, and approve.

Again, however, (please forgive the necessity of stating this - but that is the nature of the society we live in today) given the nature of state laws involving marriage, know what is demanded by law, so you know what you must face. Proper legal counsel can give you that information, though the object of attorney involvement is often to subject the marriage to statutory regulations which gives authority to the state to be a contracting party to the marriage. Do your "due diligence" and seek proper legal counsel. Learn to ask the right questions as to your rights, protections, and obligations.

This issue does take research. Marriage is the second most important decision you will make. (Our response to the call of Jesus Christ is the first, most important.). As such, marriage should be entered with sobriety and planning. (See Marriage Plague for the pre-marital events that can shape future divorces. It will sober you… or sicken you. But, it will also show WHY and HOW divorce ravages the churches.).

- submitted Wayne Sedlak, ICHR

Posted by admin | Filed in Marriage Preparation, Who Can I Marry?

Christian Divorce Confusion…

The Marriage PlagueChristian Marriage, an Essential Right

Scripture empowers a fundamental right of all parties to marry or remarry with only three limitations:

  • Disallowing “Christian marriage” in any claim of a believing Christian to marry a person who is not a believer.
  • Disallowing “Christian marriage” in the breach of the laws of affinity (Lev.18).
  • Disallowing “Christian marriage” in any breach of the laws of consanguinity (you cannot ever marry your parent, a sibling, an aunt, an uncle - direct, blood relationship). These hygienic laws have been one of the cornerstones of Western civilization for two millennia, yet few Christians know these laws concerning Christian marriage prohibitions even exist (Lev. 18).

 

State licensure laws violate Biblical injunctions concerning Christian marriage and Christian divorce (seek competent spiritual and legal counsel to handle this issue if necessary). That explains how the same sex issue has such legal power. The Bible does not authorize the state to legitimize marriage. It does give the state the authority to deal with divorce, violation of consanguinity, and affinity according to the civil mandates given in Scripture.

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers… – Romans 13:1

For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid …– Romans 13:4

For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. – Romans 13:9

This latter verse agrees with Deuteronomy 24:1ff allowing even the adulteress to remarry. It is explicitly stated there.

That does not mean she got off without sanction. The Old Testament “put to death” individuals in such civil matters by disinheritance (Adam and Eve for example were cast out of the Garden as a direct consequence of Christ’s warning “In the day you eat thereof, you will surely die.”).

Adam physically died over nine centuries later. But, he and his wife were “put to death” by being exiled (disinherited from Paradise) that very day.

This fact explains a number of issues:

  •   Christ did not endorse the stoning of the woman taken in adultery.
  •   Nor was He denying Moses in the case.
  •   There was no record of an adulterer being put to physical death in the Old Testament.
  •  The two harlots (harlots are adulteresses in the Bible) who stood in court before Solomon as known harlots were not put to death then or later.
  •  When God divorced Israel in the Old Testament (Jer. 3:8), Israel was exiled (sent into Captivity).

 Yet, God “remarried” Israel and brought His people back into His married relationship with Himself.

If we deny the right to Christian marriage (which includes remarriage), as specified in the Scriptures, we are culpable of violating St. Paul’s prophetic injunction in I Timothy 4: 1 – 3. We may be unwittingly participating in a “doctrine of devils”.

Please refer to The Marriage Plague for more information

- submitted by Chrys Ostom

Posted by admin | Filed in Who Can I Marry?

Christian History: The Early Church and Virtue

Edward Gibbon, in his classic work, the Decline and fall of the Roman Empire, once wrote:

“The primitive Christian demonstrated his faith by his virtues…” and as a result, won the heart of the culture.

Gibbon wrote that that single factor helped bring cultural influence and victory to the Church of Christ against the Roman Empire in the 4th Century AD.1

1) Christian history and the obedience of Christians: Such obedience rendered to the Lord is designed to actively portray principle and way of life higher and wiser than anything known to mankind naturally. Its values outshine all other systems of “morality” put together.

As a result, Scripture tells us that each Christian is to be a distinct “sign” and a “wonder” of Christ to society round about them. In other words, our Christian life credentials our Christian message, despite our sinful nature. This credentialing has moved our Christian history among the nations for the last 2000 years.

One example: the Christian history of the church records the fact that Afra of Augsburg, a former prostitute, repented of her sinful way of life and embraced Christ, she set up an orphanage for abandoned children of prisoners, smugglers, slaves, and thieves. Later, she became even more efficient in her love for these children by setting up a network through the churches for finding and putting them out for adoption.2 She very much represents the adage: “It’s not so much the presence of sin in life as it is the absence of repentance in the heart that distinguishes a bad man or woman from an upright one.”

The Roman state resented her work, especially since the “perception” was created by the propaganda of state agencies persecuting her saying that she was aiding and abetting “enemies of society” by helping these children… and saving children whom the state could only wish would “better” serve it as “productive” slaves.

So, the reality was that her activities put anything else to shame, including Roman “morality”. More to the point, she was caring for children who, in the eyes of slave masters and Roman rulers, could be put to work in places such as the Roman sulfur mines. That was money out of their pockets as far as they were concerned.

Afra was murdered by the Roman police state in the infamous persecution of Diocletian which began in the year 303 A.D. and extended over the next 10 years, the worst persecution to that date in the Christian history of the church.

2) Christian history and cultural institutions: Gibbon’s principle described far more than individual heroics throughout Christian history. Christians, he noted, are invariably moved to build institutions which makes their work more efficient and powerful.

Several such institutions, such as marriage and the family, are second nature to the creative impulse of Christian people. Christians have built schools, businesses, clinics, media, hospitals, charities, ministries of all types.

For example, the great 4th Century minister, Basil of Byzantium, built leper’s colonies for the humane medical treatment of lepers. His work drew the ire of many Roman aristocrats but such health care works undertaken by Christian people and churches glorified the Name of Christ.

In other words, Christianity is a new kind of civilization, not just a way to heaven. But, also, the way to heaven is credentialed by the quality of life and testimony we have shown throughout the Christian history of the church.

3) Christian history and deep societal reform: But Gibbon’s observation goes even deeper. Christ’s people bring a way of life that exposes and displaces a contrary civilization. For example, Telemachus of Laddia undertook the celebrated reform that eventually brought an end to the cruelties of gladiatorial combat in the arena. He was martyred in the arena for his work.3

The arena was used by the Caesars as a means of “corrupting the masses” for support and power politics. Cicero, the Roman Senator once described the real power and agenda of the arena. He said:

Setting out to seek power, and unable to gain their objectives by their own resources, they use every means to bribe and corrupt the masses. Then again, when they have rendered the many greedy for public benefits through their insane appetite for prestige, it evolves into a state of government by force. Once the people are accustomed to feeding off the property of others…they find a champion who is ambitious and daring, who brings the rule of force to completion carrying out murders, exiles and redistributions of properties – until, having come to live in the manner of beasts - they find a tyrannical master and monarch.4

4) Christian history and Christian virtue: Barlaam of Antioch, a humble shoe maker, represents yet another valuable lesson. As an infant boy, he had been rescued by Christians from the horrid Roman practice of placing unwanted children at a place just outside along the wall of the city designated by Roman law. There roving packs of dogs would find an easy meal. The historian puts it this way:

Barlaam of Antioch was a cobbler for the imperial forces who devoted all his free time to the care of orphans and widows in his church. Because he himself had been saved from the infanticide wall outside the city, he was especially concerned for exposed children. Even though he was not a pastor or church leader, his good deeds were so widely known that the enemies of the faith sought to have his witness silenced. During the calamitous persecution in 304, they succeeded in having him martyred.5

These virtuous lives – and many like them - won the culture.

Such a faith represented a wise and upright view of life in a corrupt world, which even the agnostic Edward Gibbon could see and admire.

Today, maintaining that heritage is the calling of the Christian faith as it stands poised to render its assistance to a beleaguered culture. Today, the sacred bond of marriage is “on trial” in our society. The issue of divorce among Christians has led to chaos in the churches and devastation in the homes.

But, Christians aren’t speaking out as they should. Scripture tells us pointedly, “As a trampled spring or a polluted well so is the upright who give way before the wicked.”

You can speak out. Leave your comment here!

- Chris Ostom

  1.  Gibbon, Edward. The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Vol. 1. (Milman edition. The John C. Winston Co., Philadelphia, 1788) p. 543.
  2.  Grant, George. Third Time Around. (Wolgemuth and Hyatt Publishers. Brentwood, Tennessee, 1991) p. 28.
  3.  Grant, George. Third Time Around. (Wolgemuth and Hyatt Publishers. Brentwood, Tennessee, 1991) p.29.
  4.  Beacham, Richard C., Spectacle Entertainments of Early Imperial Rome (Yale University Press, New Haven, Conn. 1999) p. 46.
  5. 5 Grant, George. Third Time Around. (Wolgemuth and Hyatt Publishers. Brentwood, Tennessee, 1991) p.28-29.

 

Posted by admin | Filed in Christian History of Divorce

Marriage Plague: Why Divorce in Christian History

Too many of us in the Christian community speak of the divorce itself as if it were the dominating problem we face in the breakdown of marriages among Christians. What if the problem is not divorce, per se? Maybe we are looking for solutions in all the wrong areas. Maybe something is wrong in our marriages. Divorce, like death, is a problem. But, the “cure” must concentrate on the “CAUSES”, not as much the results, if we are to change the way things are going in Christian marriages.

Perhaps, one of the problems is the way we “use our Bibles” in dealing with a case of divorce – and the steps leading up to it. In other words, our (mis)understanding of the Bible sends us in wrong directions. A glaring symptom of this very issue is the fact that many Christians throughout Christian history quote the Gospels concerning divorce but do not recognize our Lord is commenting upon Deuteronomy 24:1ff, enforcing its tenets.

Why Divorce in Christian History: Deuteronomy 24

Deuteronomy (one of three books of the Old Testament quoted/referenced most often by Christ Himself) commands us as to how to handle the rebellious in a divorce situation. But current Christian culture shies away from the “Law” of God, where Christ did not. In fact, in Luke 16, where Christ speaks of the Law as never perishing nor in any manner passing away, the very first illustration used is Deuteronomy 24:1ff.

Throughout Christian history, poor interpretive principles and understanding has been a continual source of strife and culture “plague” (ongoing social strife and hurt).

Why Divorce in Christian History: The Early Church & Interpretation

Let’s illustrate. For the first three centuries of the Christian era, many in the churches did not know how to describe/understand Christ’s two-fold nature as both fully God and fully man. They didn’t know whether to define Him from the Bible as …

  • two persons in one body (Nestorianism)
  • one “mixed” person with a different nature than anyone else (God mingled with flesh) (Eutychianism)
  • a lesser divinity with manlike characteristics (Gnosticism)
  • a phantom like being (Gnosticism)
  • a finite man of outstanding character (rationalism)

The problem was, they all used Scripture to justify their positions.

Note that. They used a poor understanding of the Word of God to define Christ.

Why Divorce in Christian History: Interpretations Leading to Abuse Read the rest »

Posted by admin | Filed in Christian History of Divorce

Avoiding a Christian Divorce: Calling and Marriage Fulfillment

Drawing on Proverbs 31, here are some goals to “think upon”. Few marriages can attain ALL of the following and most marriages will take years to pursue these. Certainly, they are NOT all pursued all at once:

1.A business profitable enough to grow with and toward the goals of their lives. Christian divorce in our culture is caused most often by financial concerns, not necessarily from “sex” issues.

2.Christian divorce as a phenomenon occurs very often because couples weary of endless labors to “get ahead” but don’t seem to do so. So, one of them usually “pulls the plug” on the relationship. Invested profits to expand their reach as a couple (“with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard”). Investments are God’s REPLACEMENT for slaves. Instead of mankind enslaving people to work and exploiting their labor and controlling their substance and future, investments go to work, putting capital in place of human servitude so as to build up wealth. Investments work 24/7, they never tire, and they continue building over time.

3.The husband of the woman of Proverbs 31 is in position in the gates to maintain justice is expressly placed WITHIN and surrounded by her economic activities. (That is deliberate Hebrew syntax and usage. When a Hebrew writer wants to tie in another subject and relate it to the one he is writing about, he artfully embeds the new subject into the framework of the older subject matter he is developing. Everyone then knows they are related.). The point is simple: Christian divorce – or divorce in general – is a phenomenon associated with injustice in the laws and courts of the land.

4.The family is known for its charitable attitude toward employees (servants here). Nothing gives a better reputation to an employer than kindness and fairness toward employees. Christian divorce would be much lower in our culture if a churches were far more charitable biblically while understanding divorce precursors specifically. Why? Support is often needed to help those beginning their marital distresses. Charity in the Bible includes many issues (monetary and non-monetary).

5.The family raises and educates the children with purpose and vision. Else they wouldn’t praise her. The opposite attitude is spelled out in Proverbs as the scorner or mocker. There is none in Proverbs 31. So, they have provided a trained generation to carry on their legacy and provide an inheritance. That training can be one of the most powerful preventatives to the Christian divorce problem in our churches.

6.They are involved in charity toward the poor of the land. Undoubtedly, they approached charity as Boaz and Ruth did in the Book of Ruth. Presumably, if there were aged parents involved (none mentioned), they too would be under the care of this family. Note, in the case of Ruth and Boaz, Christian charity done biblically, provided for reciprocity in a growing relationship that eventually became a Christian marriage … as opposed to the plague of the so-called Christian divorce spirals escalating daily.

7.They left a legacy of Christ like character and invested that character in the community which is really the most powerful means for preventing the kind of Christian divorce epidemic we have today among Christians.

8.Her Christ like character elevated the position of women – and marriage - in the eyes of society.

9.Honor, truth and honesty prevailed in society, which encourages everyone and replaces graft, dishonesty and malice – all of which are at the heart of Christian divorces today.

10.All they accomplished was done for the Lord’s kingdom and glory.

Oh, yes, and there was no divorce here because there WAS NO PLAGUE…MARRIAGE PLAGUE was replaced with righteousness to the glory of the King of Righteousness. Their marriage had and fulfilled that purpose.

- Submitted ICHR

Posted by admin | Filed in Calling

Listing: The Laws of Consanguinity and Affinity

Leviticus 18: 6- 28

These are the listings of the Laws of Consanguinity and Affinity…Leviticus 18

No civilization has survived without them.

Laws of Consanguinity and Affinity

None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD.

The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

The nakedness of thy father’s wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father’s nakedness.

The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.

The nakedness of thy son’s daughter, or of thy daughter’s daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness.

The nakedness of thy father’s wife’s daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father’s sister: she is thy father’s near kinswoman.

Consanguinity refers to the “blood ties” (“kinship” by blood relationship). “Affinity” references illicit relationships, not blood and kin issues.

Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother’s sister: for she is thy mother’s near kinswoman.

Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father’s brother; thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.

Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter-in-law: she is thy son’s wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother’s wife: it is thy brother’s nakedness.
Read the rest »

Posted by admin | Filed in Who Can I Marry?

Christian Divorce Rates: Preparation for a Christian Marriage

In Proverbs 31, the husband and wife did not “just become” discerning about life. God’s holy precepts provided much for preparation, preservation, protection and promotion of marriage. Let’s see what of God’s principles the churches have “thrown out” with the “bathwater”.

1.Oversight of the family and “the mutual veto” honored in the churches. When Rebecca was brought to the servant of Isaac her marriage proposal asked for her approval. Though a father, in particular, exercises headship over the family, Rebecca was asked for her approval. No coercion was involved. Her answer – or that of the family head – could have exercised veto authority. However, there cannot be any coercion of a marriage.

2.Numbers 30 specifically gives the father such veto authority. What he is vetoing is her discernment to the degree he can know the situation. In other words, he is entrusted with her best interest in the matter… her inheritance in a future husband. If he believes the union would be ruinous to them as a couple, he is bound to speak out and express a responsible opinion, accompanied with Biblical reasons. After all, he is NOT a law unto himself. He MUST give Biblical cause to her, so she is comforted knowing the father who raised her, is not being arbitrary or sinful in his counsels.

3.The churches are the ones called upon to teach and uphold his decision, unless the elders see a clear violation of God’s laws in his conduct and decision-making. The father has no lawful authority to violate the laws of God with respect to his daughter.

4.The civil magistrate upholds (but does not dictate or coerce) the parents’ authority over their minor children. The civil magistrate enters into the issue in matters pertaining to a violation of law. For example, the government must be informed if a violation of consanguinity is involved. That is the responsibility of church, family and community.

5.Violations of affinity (non-blood related marital or sexual offenses) are matters for civil suit and church procedure (Matt. 18).

6.The offering of a dowry by the prospective husband to the prospective wife is also the marked beginning of the betrothal, which, in turn transforms courting into commitment. Courting prepares and places a marriage on the launching pad. Betrothal (stronger than our “engagement” process) is the countdown to launch. Marriage is the launch.

7.A Prenuptial marital contract is necessary for any couple entering into marriage today. Christians in particular are called in the Bible to prepare such marital contracts. The particulars of such contracts can be understood here.

- submitted ICHR

Posted by admin | Filed in Marriage Preparation

What is Calling?

Put in its simplest form, “calling” is the task set by God for an individual in one of several situations:

1.Calling can occur when entering into some temporary act involving one’s neighbor (courage, heroism, truth-telling, kindness).

2.Calling is used as a term for one’s responsibilities and accountability to God in His God-ordained institutions (such as marriage).

3.Calling is used as a term for one’s responsibilities and accountability to God for one’s life labor (vocation and its position in the community).

In its simplest form, calling is “doing that which would be left undone if you don’t do it.” (The assumption is that there is no calling from God without righteousness as its goal).

The Christian is called to do that which would be left undone if he or she doesn’t do it. Marriage trains the heart more fully for calling and responsibility than any other institution on earth and provides the “helpmeet’ for it, a man’s wife. That is the purpose of the institution. It is designed for calling (with faith), stewardship … and patience.

It is axiomatic that marriage is designed for Christian people. The institution is only fulfilled when faith in Jesus Christ functions at its center. Thus, a couple is moved by God through their faith as well as their love, to marry each other. That is the conviction so that calling WITH THE POWERFUL help of a helpmeet is formed. Quality of a person’s faith in Christ drives the ethic (“good works”) which follow.

- ICHR submitted

Posted by admin | Filed in Calling